'You did WHAT with diamonds?!!! ARE YOU INSANE?'

When I told her the story she spit out her food and yelled at me. and buried them in the yard at night, chanting a little giving back ritual over them.Ī few years later I had become best friends with a Jewish American Princess from Queens. I took my wedding band, my diamond engagement ring, a gold bracelet and watch. Being newly sober and kinda stupid and impressionable, I did as she suggested. oh my god, it's Rumplestiltskin.Īfter this incident my wacko roommate convinced me that what I had to do to sever his hold over me was to take all the gold he had given me and bury it in the yard, giving it back to the gnome spirits. And jumping up and down like that I kept thinking. I can't say he looks like the Travelocity gnome. He is also going grey and has a goatee and mustache. Now, my ex husband is kinda short, has a pot belly, and is balding on top with Einstein-like tufts of hair that stick out on the side. He literally started jumping up and down, his face turning bright red, screaming at me, 'Thief! Thief!' He insisted that the silver was his and he wanted it back! One day my ex was visiting and saw inside my china cabinet the set of silver ware I had from our wedding. She said that he continued to have power over me because of the gold and other precious metals he had given me. She told me that she had had a vision that my ex was possessed by the spirit of a gnome whose name was Hairy Tuff (so not making that up). She was an older woman and extremely New Agey woo woo.

During this time I had a friend of my sister's living with me, helping me out with my daughter who was 4 at the time. and at one point I wound up basically winning the legal disputes we were having. My ex started to act progressively weirder as our divorce dragged on, custody court, etc etc (really long story). I also had some silver that my family gave me. I left him most of the china and silver, taking just one place setting of each as a token rememberence. We received some china, silver and crystal stem ware. Like most couples we registered for wedding gifts. Well, like most marriages, one thing lead to another, and before you know it I was contemplating whether to smother him with a pillow or leave.

there were 400 people at our wedding, and it lasted four days. The cake topper couple disappeared the night of the wedding and I have never seen them since. For our thank you notes after the wedding I bought a postcard of a gnome couple sitting by the side of a lake, fishing. I thought the gnome man and woman were cute, ad I bought a gnome man and woman as our wedding cake toppers. Someone gave me this book the month I was getting married. This is one of my stranger and more embarrassing tales.įor some bizarre reason, gnomes are a recurring theme in my life.

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